Marilyn Miller- Thinking and Powderfinger

Peace of Mind House Concerts

Last weekend, I was invited by Don and Jill Seagraves to open a show for Tom Pacheco at their new House Concert Series, Peace of Mind.

The time leading up to the show was a little nerve wracking. I couldn't get people to commit to coming..... many had gigs of their own, or they were not interested in traveling to Sheffield, MA to see me when I am pretty available many weekends right here.... and no spending cover charges or high gas prices to do so. Most of my friends and fans had never heard of Tom, so that was not a draw either.

Don and Jill were not having their phone ring off the wall with reservations either. There was some discussion about cancelling the show all together when a few reservations started to trickle in and a few rusties let it be known that they were traveling distances to come for the chance to party with other rusties and hear some new music!!

I am SO glad we continued with the show. First of all, Tom and his manager Nancy and roadman Fred, were great people! Very comfortable, interesting, and very very nice to me. And Tom writes amazingly good songs, telling interesting stories and singing them with conviction and skill. His guitar playing is excellent and he puts on a show that will keep you listening and laughing and tapping and feeling.

Second of all, it was a fantastic experience for me. Tom was very pleasant to me, listening to my entire set with an occasional nod and frequent smile, and even mentioned me during his show!! At first it was very very odd to actually have people LISTENING to my songs, INTENSELY. Most often, playing bars, or coffee shops or farmers markets, people experience what I do as background to their conversations. It took me by such surprise, and made me feel so self conscious, that I mentioned it from the 'stage'..... and got some laughs.... AND a lot of relaxation. I learned that YES, just be WHO YOU ARE, talk like you do every other day and time, and present the songs as if they are stories these people never heard before. Just be myself, not an 'act', not a 'show', just ME. I felt vulnerable on that stage, and realized that what I was really feeling was OPEN to the music, and singing it from my gut, where it lives, instead of from my head or my throat or my fingers.

And I saw people respond. I could tell by their expressions, how they nodded and moved to the songs, that I was doing what I dreamed of doing for folks at a show..... I was taking them on a journey of stories and thoughts and feelings, and they were coming with me and enjoying the trip.....

What an amazing experience.
Thank you, Don and Jill.
Thank you, Tom and Fred and Nancy.
Thank you, audience.
Thank you, music!!!

Going Home -- Marilyn at OPL (Oct 20, 2011)

Cayamo Cruising....

Sometimes it is hard to play. I recently went on a cruise, and it was difficult. I felt so very very strange, so out of sorts. It is hard to explain, but it was, as I sit in this plane going to Seattle, very much like the head I get when I fly...... Sort of like- impossible to think. Tired. Kind of dopey, actually. But not in a good way at all.....

The first night I was there, I ran into Wayne, who I first met at SAMW (Summer Acoustic Music Week). He was leading a small group of folks who are playing together, in a lounge right near a bar, center of the ship. We play a few songs, and I am asked to lead a tune. I choose Angel from Montgomery, as I had JUST heard John Prine (one of my musical heros) do the song in concert on board. When I dared to look around, I saw lots of smiles, people who had stopped just to hear the song. Of course, that felt REAL good......

The next day, after all the shows I wanted to see were done, I eagerly grabbed my guitar and went to the lounge near the bar. Tonight, there were about 20 people crowded in the area. Good players, lots of energy. I was feeling weird, my head felt like I couldn't think my way out of a paper bag....... But I followed along, strumming until I realized I had to go to sleep. Of course, that was when someone looked around the group and saw me there on the outskirts.

'You gotta song?'

'You want some Neil Young?'

Of course they did. I stepped into the middle of the circle, turned off that shyness, turned on my 'stage thing' and taught them the chords briefly and we were OFF!!!! What a LOT of fun!!!! Singing the choruses at the top of their lungs, the audience and other players smiled and clapped and listened and played. I asked for and got some amazing solos!!! I walked out of the group with several folks commenting on the energy, the song choice, the leadership. I left soon after (I really DID need to SLEEP).

The next night we met in  this area that at the back of the boat, where food was served as a buffet. It had a big canvas awning and was my favorite breakfast place. A few folks had gathered there and we spent some time strumming and teaching each other songs. The most memorable thing about that night was a man who sang a few songs he wrote..... And every tune was funny, well sung-- great songs done well....... I wish I had gotten his contact info right then, as I never ran into him again.

So, the next night, I was even more fatigued. The constant rocking movement (we had 'Moderate Seas' most of the time) really was wearing on me. However, after seeing all the shows I wanted, I grabbed my guitar and headed to the place I was told we would be meeting that night. You see, I was told, and it may have been meant differently, but......

I was told that the 'real' musicians (as opposed to us hacks, I suppose) were going to be in the lounge outside the bar, and you had to be invited to play. The kind of playing situation that I don't do well in at all.... So I headed out to the outside food area, where I met Wayne........ And couldn't play to save my life. I couldn't remember ANYTHING, I could not follow the songs he was trying to teach me. I think I did 'Leaving on a Jet Plane', and did get some clapping by the folks taking a late nite snack, but *I* didn't feel good about the performance. We then went and met the other folks in the library, where I did not do any better, and left after a short time. I heard that the 'by invite only' jam was really a lot of fun..... and wished I had gone, just to listen, but I sure was glad I didn't try to play at THAT.....

I tried to change my strings after that, but didn't have the tools. I also didn't have the energy. Everything, absolutely everything, became a large, hard thing to accomplish. I only played in the room  after that. It seemed the music left me as the fatigue grew.

It took me a while after I got home to feel normal again, but I do, finally. I have written some new tunes, and I can't get enough of the sound of my guitar. I restrung the travel guitar and it waits right now in its case, in the luggage bin over my head in this plane bound for Seattle. I will be getting it out. I will likely be playing and singing Neil Young songs with my other Neil Young -loving buddies before too long.

Glad the music came back to me.....

(I should say before leaving this post, that although the music seemed to leave ME, I still greatly enjoyed all the music I heard from so many fantastic musicians on this cruise..... James McMurtney, John Prine, Richard Thompson, Shawn Mullins, Chuck Cannon. WOW.)

Professional Enough?

I have been told before that my website is not 'professional enough'. I have often wondered what that means. Is it because I talk about stage fright? I don't have enough promotional things? I don't talk about touring or shows, but about regular people making music in my home town? I really don't know and if someone can tell me I would appreciate it. Not that I want to change this site..... But I would like to know what those folks mean.....

Maybe I could find out it I networked enough. Maybe if I paid some money and had one of those professional site builders redesign me. Or took a class on how to market myself. Yeah, that would do it. I would get more offers on Sonic Bids for gigs down in New York where I have to guarantee 25 paid tickets, and only after that do I get a percentage of the door. And did I mention I get a full 40 minutes to play!

Maybe, since I haven't gotten too many reviews on my CD, I should pay someone to write one. Or even pay for a bunch of 'market experts' that don't usually listen to my genre, to critically appraise my work. I can then use those things to help write my bio..... I will then have a bunch of quotes to use all over my site, make it look like folks all over are talking about me. Would that be more professional?

When I first started on this journey, I just wanted to enjoy making music with other Neil Young fans. Then I found out how much fun it was to play in front of an audience. That gets cool real quick. THEN, I found out how much even better it feels to play your OWN songs with others in front of an audience, particularly one that listens and cares. WOW.

At that point, I was just happy being able to play. But it became apparent that I could get better gigs if I had a CD to send, professionally produced, of course. And, after spending all that money on those CDs, I should promote them, sell them, try to find people to help promote (radio, print, blog). And to do that, there are lots of people out there willing to take my money to 'help' me make my goal......

But really, what is my goal???

I am never going to make even extra spending money making music, let alone cover my expenses making those CDs. I am not going to tour. I would love to do house concerts, but my website is not professional enough.

So I am one of those musicians who takes the local gigs, for no pay, just for the love of playing music with my friends for an audience.  The professional musicians complain to me about that, but I think that if I (or someone like me) didn't play those gigs, there just wouldn't be any live music in that venue. Co-ops, coffeeshops and farmers markets are not exactly rolling in the dough.... I really don't think I am taking work from anyone.....

I invite people into my gigs, just as so many people have done for me.  I encourage people all around me to participate in the music...... Not elitist enough, I suspect.

I guess I am just not professional enough...... but I do get people to laugh and smile and dance and feel GOOD.... and that makes me feel good.

I am who and what I am..... and I will keep at it.....