Sunday, August 25, 2019

Blue Love

I have been asked many times about what prompted many of the songs on 'What's on my Mind'. Here is another essay....

Lately, I have been involved with several conversations, mostly with creative women, about the goal of having a RELATIONSHIP. Yes, many of us wonder about the societal expectation that a woman must have a partner, or they can not be a complete, whole, woman. And... many of us also are thinking.... no, we do not.

I live alone. I choose to. I have lived with others, but it never fails that I am required to give up my own interests because of my partner. People so much want to be together with a partner to share life, and in my experience, ‘together’ has frequently meant leaving mySELF behind. I have been told more than once that I love music more than the person I was ‘committed’ to, and that was even before I became a musician!

The end product of music is shared with people, including your life partner, when you are ready to share it out. But there is also a lot of time alone in the woodshed before that, learning how to use your instruments. A lot of people can’t seem to handle the facts:  a musician needs to practice (that same song, endlessly), spend time away (gigging for example), write (Don’t interrupt!) and spend long hours with other people to rehearse (no, that doesn't mean I am in love with one of them). Sometimes, I am sure it feels like being a second fiddle (pun intended). It requires a lot of trust. And finally, I have to admit, musicians overall don’t have a great reputation for fidelity.

BUT- even when we are, love can turn blue.

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